I would say that if you're going to take a confrontational tone you should probably leave it out. Autism etiquette?. Grow up. If you don't want to hear about my normal or gifted kid, I don't want to hear about yours. We all have our crosses to bear. If you want to talk about resources and best practices to help others with their autistic children, great. But save the "poor me" crap. Nobody cares.

The band is Cracker, not Violent Femmes.

You are absolutely right about the band! I knew I should've googled it before I referenced it in my blog. Thank you.

Good for you! I admire your openness! I also have a 14 yo on the spectrum and understand of what you speak :) it's hard to keep many of those (NT) friendships going. It takes more effort and they don't always GET what we deal with. I don't have friends with kids line mine and cherish the ones who accept our family for who we are... The ones that understand why only 1/2 of our family goes to late or loud events and underatand that my guy just couldn't attend their mitzvahs. it's hard. i find it can be really isolating. People arent being mean, we just drift apart. i guess we have less in common.I look forward to reading your blog. There's always room for more Autism blogs!!! we all have different experiences. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. Ps. I know you will touch upon many facets of this journey we are on. Not sure why one would judge you after one post.
Best of luck!

Thank you Susie. I really appreciate your post. Feel free to email me or FB message since we both have 14 years with autism.

Maybe ,just maybe,Mr. White,she is venting about a situation not of her making. And maybe just maybe,if people like you could get off your high horse and express a little humanity you might end up a member of the human race and express a little sympathy and understanding
Skip jacobs

I don't have a child with autism, but know several people who do. I commend you for writing your blog and sharing your feelings. Keep blogging and many people will keep reading.

Thanks for sharing your perspective and experience. It takes a village to raise a child, and the only way that village can be of help is if we understand the experiences and needs of others. While my children are "NT" they are kinder, gentler, more caring individuals because of their friendships and experiences with kids that bear an array of labels including autisim, ADD, ADHD, developmentally delayed, you name it.... We all have our baggage. Your openness and willingness to open up your suitcase for others to see, is a critical step to creating a more aware and caring community. Keep writing and I will keep reading.

If Jill sounds angry, maybe she should be. We all should be. Autism IS an epidemic and that’s the part where more of the focus should be. Why isn’t there more attention from the (mainstream) media about our toxic environment, from unknown additives in our food and questionable chemicals in our material goods like couches and building materials, to dare I say it, our insane US vaccination schedule? Many holistic doctors have it figured out, when will our hallowed medical community get on board? Amazing strides are being made by parents who have found answers from alternate sources and alternative medical resources.

My next blog will be a little more mellow. Maybe after a glass if wine.

Jill, as the mom of a special needs child (not autistic) I appreciate your candidness and honesty and I totally agree about your list of things people shouldn't say. FU Walter. If you don't like it, don't read it. The rest of us need this kind of thing said aloud.

I should't respond from my phone in haste. I meant "glass of wine"

Jill- write whatever you want, it's your blog and your opinion. I am enjoying the comments and discussion. We all have different experiences and bring different perspectives. Lisa P- you bring up good points. That's why we parents need to connect and help each other out. Looking fwd to more. ~S

Wow! So many angry folks in HP. It's really surprising to be honest.

Jill, write what you'd like. Good or bad...people can learn & relate from your experience.

Power on girl....

Jill,as a fellow Autism blog writer over at Deerfield Patch, I say write what you want and write from the heart. You will get a variety of comments (good and bad) but at the end of the day only you know how Autism has impacted your family and I'm glad you are raising more awareness about this epidemic.

Jill has autism to deal w/...another has chronic depression...another the loss of a child...another has cancer. While we all have our crosses to bear, there is no reason not to continue to treat each other with kindness, compassion and respect. Contrary to what Mr. White says, I do care as do many, many other people. Through our human connections/relationships, we hopefully minister to the needs of each other and the community at large, laying a foundation of understanding and hope. Maybe that is part and parcel of what Jill could be looking for, Mr. White--understanding and hope. And I have to ask, is that so wrong?

I've been following information about the epidemic of Autism spectrum. Why is it NOT an epidemic in any other advanced, post-industrialized country? This epidemic seems to be limited to the United States.

I seriously cannot believe the tone of the post from Mr. White. It's haunting that he is looking at it as a lecture, rather than some simple human honesty. Believe it or not, what she said HAS helped parents with autistic children because it is a comfort to know that we all feel like that at one time or another, and we aren't so flipping alone in this daily battle. A battle that haunts us should something happen to US and these children are left alone. But that gifted child will be able to go away to school, cross the street ALONE, live alone, have FRIENDS, and earn a living. A person like this couldn't spend five minutes in my house because he is a coward and quite frankly, a bully and lacks compassion and understanding. Jill - keep bringing your message, feelings and knowledge to all with an open heart . . . .

Jill. Great blog. We have a 10 year old boy with autism. Your blog hit the nail on the head. We have twins. One NT. Hard to balance everything. Are you on PUNS list? Please continue blog. Thks..

Michael, yes my son is on PUNS. That is one of the reasons I wanted to blog so I can share the importance of things like PUNS. I will definitely write about it soon. In the meantime, a brief explanation of PUNS for others is that the IL Dept of Human Services maintains a list of those with developmental disabilities. Some on the list get state services but it is important for all to be on the list so our state government knows how widespread the need. Thanks for your support!

What a nice surprise to see you on HP Patch, Jill! I am so grateful for having met you through our mutual association with other fabulous mothers with kids on the spectrum. I don't know what I would do without all of you! Thank you for writing your experience. I look forward to reading more.

Hey Jill - Thanks so much for your fabulous Blog - and keep on writing - both before and after glasses of wine. I find your comments refreshingly honest. I share in your frustration of people singing the praises of parents of children with special needs...
My least favorite are the people who say, "God only gives you what you can handle..." Are these people nuts? If that were true, God would be giving all these people the support they needed (financially, emotionally and vacationally - that's a new word I made up). But that's not what happens.
Raising children is hard. And raising children with special needs is hard X 100. These parents are no different - they just rolled the genetic dice like we all did and that's how it landed.

Hey Betsy,
I was motivated to write by your column. So really people should address their complaints to you.

While we don't live autism in our family, I do understand the myths and misconceptions of dealing with a diagnosis. My daughter had Type 1 Diabetes and what is put forth in the media, especially when they fail to denote between Type 1 and Type 2 makes it all the much more fun.

I look forward to your blog posts, even though I don't walk in your shoes, I do understand the loneliness of a dx and the need to connect with others "like you."

Education is key to understanding. And if someone new comes across your blog, I hope your experiences will help them to feel not so alone.

Already learning ... Not on the PUNS list here. Didn't know of it. I was also unaware Deerfield had an Autism blog too! Great job ladies! Getting that awareness (and hopefully acceptance )out there.

I signed up for PUNS thru the agency Community Alternatives Unlimited. I update with them yearly. Their phone number is: 773-867-4000. You can call them and tell them you have a child with a disability and you want to be on PUNS. They will take you thru the process. One year NSSED (North Shore Special Education District) had a PUNS registration in Highland Park. I am not active in NSSED anymore but I can call and check.

Consider finding (I mean digging in and seriously searching) for products which bring absolute joy to the child and not just some form of therapy. There's more to life that therapy. I manufacture the Swring and testimony coming from every corner of the country emphasizes its immediate calming effect. I've never heard of child being frightened by it - only mesmerized and by the way it has profound positive outcomes regarding vestibular awarenss.

Jill
Thank you for sharing your heart felt, authentic feelings. I'm glad that you have this opportunity to enlighten the rest of us and to channel your voice of experience.
Bonnie

JIll, I thought your blog was excellent and what i heard was 1) Big shout out to Highland Park for support 2) Focus on making sure to focus and prioritize on reality and what is evidence based, not just "out there" (don't be fooled by it....) Thanks from a mom of 5 and a pediatric OT working closely on a multidisciplinary team in Highland Park and around www.NSPT4kids.com I am here for you if you have specifics you want to talk about re your son, even though there are plenty of experts, not so many may be helping. Take care!

Thanks. It is great to get feedback for a professional in the autism field

Hi Jill, have you tried some modifications to your son's diet? Children with Autism spectrum disorders often have autoimmune disorders as well. Thanks to the genetic modification of corn, wheat and dairy products (as well as some environmental triggers), we have a growing generation of Autistic children. I would recommend removing all wheat, corn and dairy products completely for a few weeks, and slowly reintroducing Organic versions. Avoiding corn syrup, Aspartame, BGH and hydrogenated oils won't hurt him, either. For some reason boys are more likely to be diagnosed with Autism than girls are. Stay focused on helping your son to be the best that he can be. All the best to you and your son! :)

Yes, I've tried special diets. It helped Henry when he was younger but not in more recent years.
Did you know I've written a few blogs since this original one including one this week called The New Scarlet Letter? I hope you'll check it out.

lol Sully; I didn't realize that we were in a war!

Jill, my husband and I are looking to move to Highland Park or Deerfield within the next few months and we have 2 year old twins, one with autism and one without. Do you have any experience with therapists in your area that provide ABA, speech and OT, and is there one you would recommend? Also, what is your experience with the schools there...is there much bullying towards kids who are different? Any help or advice you have would be appreciated. Thanks!

HI Emily:

I think the kids in this area are very nice to the kids on the spectrum. Yes, I have therapist recommendations and I can put you in touch with other parents too for their recommendations. Feel free to email me at jcgoldstein@comcast.net