Local police departments provided the following reports. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt.

Honey, this graffiti is delicious

Highland Park Police reported seeing windows on the east side of the high school smeared with sour cream, marinara sauce, and pork and beans. The rear entrance of the school was struck by several eggs.

Potty Foul
A man reported that his black Samsung Tablet was stolen from a Skokie grocery store bathroom when he went to purchase a lottery ticket and realized he had left the tablet in the bathroom. When he returned it was missing.

In fairness, the guy was singing 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot'

A 45-year-old Glenview man was charged with battery by Niles Police after they said he punched a man in the face five times, knocking him unconscious. Police said the victim entered a restaurant and wanted to sing karaoke, but the offender had the controller. They argued over the controller before the physical altercation, police said.

Usually it's the vehicle that strikes the person

A 26-year-old Des Plaines woman was arrested after police said she knocked over a motorcycle in a parking lot and, according to witnesses, yelled and “pounded” on other nearby vehicles.

He shouldn't have worn that Axe body spray

Skokie police found a man who they said was bleeding from the lip, intoxicated and uncooperative. Police said he told them that he was attacked by two women whom he claimed “clawed” him and threw him against the windshield of a car.